BIG Fearless Journal #1 week

These exercises were a lot harder than I thought they would.

Exercise 1: Scribble Painting

BIG-Exercise 1-Scribble

Exercise 2: Flow Line

BIG-Exercise 1-Line

Exercise 3: Shape

BIG-Exercise 1-Shapes

Exercise 4: Paint like a 5 year old

Paint-like-a-5 year old


What painting exercise got my juices flowing?

I enjoyed the line painting most. I have always loved lines. If I had to doodle most of the time I would start with lines. I also have been doing a lot of zentangles which mostly are just repeating lines.

Which one of these exercises made me feel alive-was fun-even a bit exciting?

I thought painting a butterfly was fun and using gold paint was exciting.

Which painting exercise just didn’t do it for me?

I did not like to just scribble! A bunch of mess and colors all blending together. YUCK

What was I actually resisting–what did I not like about it–and what was my fear gremlin actually telling me through the process that might have been causing trouble?

I resisted keeping going. I always felt like they were unfinished  I did not like scribbling. It felt irresponsible and ugly. I hate the way a lot of colors turn brown and mucky. My fear gremlin was always saying this is ugly or this is stupid.

Did I put my whole body into my work or did I hold back?

It was very hard to let go and not thinking about making something I recognized. I did put my whole body into it. I love standing up to paint but painting all day can really be hard on the feet. I had to keep telling myself simple, just focus on the theme and nothing else.

How did this make me feel?

It was more frustrating than I thought it would be because I kept having to say only do line! Only do Shapes. Don’t plan anything. I had to keep reminding myself to stop making things look like something. I am too real. I kept telling myself to feel the painting.

What intention can I make to myself for next week when it comes to dancing with my painting?

Dancing with my painting – I need music! Maybe I need to make a sign at the top of my artwork that say FEEL YOUR PAINTING.

What did I learn about myself as a FEARLESS Painter this week?

I automatically go to the left side of my brain. I need to focus on my feelings and not what it should look like.

What am I craving more of?

I am craving more colors! I finished the first three paintings and I craved more colors. I have always been a realist – buy the primary colors and mix them. I always felt it was cheating to buy Purple or Pink. I went out and bought magenta, gold, silver, copper, bronze, lime green, light aqua blue. All odd colors! It was so much fun!

What did I learn about my fear gremlin this week?

My fear gremlin  thinks a lot about being ugly or pretty way too much.

What does BIG look and feel like to me now-after just this first week?

BIG looks like not real stuff. It is too much like cartoons to me maybe. It is so much about feelings. It is so hard not to PLAN your painting.